Broken is Better: The Essential Role of Vulnerability in Servant Leadership

I wrote a term paper for my Servant Leadership class in seminary. I decided to share it in blog form.

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.”[1] – Max De Pree

In his book Leadership Is An Art, renowned business author Max De Pree made this bold statement about the nature of leadership. While this phrase is oft repeated, both by purported gurus and casual readers, it may be even less understood than when De Pree first put these words to paper. Instead of defining reality, many contemporary leaders view their responsibility as one of reality creation and expect their followers to blindly accept the reality they have created. The public, private and even non-profit sectors bear witness to the reckless practices of irresponsible leaders who fail to truly grasp the current situation of whatever and whomever they’ve been privileged to lead. In fact, many leaders take it further and construct elaborate false realities within their insulated and myopic world. They painstakingly spend the majority of their time fortifying their dream worlds and indulging their self-interest. This egocentric approach is most famously practiced by the precious few leaders with unfathomable political, financial and social power; sitting atop the world’s largest institutions and conglomerates, bolstered by fame and fortune. However, this problem of proper stewardship is just as common for the average middle manager or church leader. While the common man may have fewer resources for their self-serving leadership fantasies, the behavior and underlying motivations of the individual are the same. From a spiritual perspective this is not just casual disregard for the gift of leadership, this is a form of idolatry.

But there is hope. The answer lies within us, in a fundamental shift of how we view the reality of leadership and how we actually lead. As Tolstoy wrote, “… everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing himself.”[2] But this is how we must become servant leaders, by changing ourselves. And we must start by accurately defining the reality. At our core, we are all imperfect, sinful and even depraved. We are prone to the idolatry of gratuitous self-interest. That truth is where servant leadership begins. Accepting and embracing the reality of our flawed human nature forces a leader to either be vulnerable or become inauthentic. This vulnerability is the essential ingredient in servant leadership because it releases the leader to intentionally and transparently become a “slave”, putting others first in all they do.[3]

A Leadership Crisis

The need for servant leadership has never been more critical. While the aforementioned ego-driven leaders who wield their power in service of self are as old as humanity, their impact has rarely been more obvious and harmful than now. On the heels of the economic downturn in 2008, stories of corrupt and morally bankrupt leadership filled news broadcasts and magazines. From the Ford Motor Company to Goldman Sachs, the irresponsible and often illegal behavior of CEO’s and other high-level Executives have been under a microscope. Seven years later, the stock market may have largely recovered but the reputation of corporate leadership has not. According to research firm Edelman Berland in their annual Trust Barometer, the current trust level for CEO’s is at 43%.[4] In contrast, the trust level for other leaders like industry or academic experts was 70%.[5] But, these crises were not just reserved for the private sector. Government leaders were the only leaders who people trusted less than CEOs. Numbers about church attendance and engagement are notoriously difficult to measure, but they show that all significant measures are in decline. The disagreement is about the degree to which people are leaving churches of all denominations, awash in leadership failures and some in serious scandals like the Catholic Church.

Poor leadership from the public, private and non-profit sectors isn’t just a matter of trust. Our workplaces are suffering significantly. The influence of our leaders, or lack thereof, directly impacts job satisfaction and employee engagement from the highest-ranking executives to the entry-level part-timer. In the most recent Gallup survey about life in the American workplace, they found that 70% of people were disengaged in their work.[6] That’s not just a problem, that’s an employment epidemic. This disengagement is costing organizations roughly $500 billion in lost productivity[7] and an immeasurable amount of potential. We cannot discount the unpleasant reality found at our jobs, even if we know we’ll never achieve 100% job satisfaction. However, we can view this dissatisfaction as a massive opportunity to get leadership right. Our workplace is primed for the kind of servant leadership that makes a difference and the people who will bring it about through their vulnerability.

What is vulnerability?

One of the challenges in discussing vulnerability is finding a suitable definition for the word itself, especially in the context of leadership. In the Oxford English Dictionary, vulnerable is defined as “susceptible of receiving wounds or physical injury.”[8] This definition extends to emotional pain as well. While it is simple, the definition is passive in nature and somewhat incomplete. Author and shame expert Brene´ Brown defines vulnerability in a new, comprehensive way. She describes it as daring to “show up and let ourselves be seen.” [9] Brown adds additional dimensions to vulnerability when she writes “vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experience.”[10] This is an important re-contextualization of a common, often negative term, that is now far more helpful to leaders. Being vulnerable transforms from a descriptor that emphasizes weakness to a mindset that empowers leaders to conduct honest and sincere self-assessment. After all, vulnerability is not an option for leaders, or humans in general, since invulnerability is not a realistic possibility. As J. Oswald Sanders wrote, “If you want to maintain an image of infallibility, find something else to do besides leading people.”[11] We can never be perfect, no matter how hard we try to maintain that illusion. So when we are vulnerable, it is less about exposing ourselves to be victims and more about acknowledging our true nature. This truth helps to give us a clearer picture.

Unfortunately, much of the conventional wisdom about success and leadership considers vulnerability a liability. It is believed that as the person in authority, your followers should never see you sweat. If you have wounds, hide them, and do whatever you can to cover them up because if people are aware of it, they’ll take advantage of you. By these definitions, vulnerability is weakness. And weakness is an attribute that vulnerability detractors find unacceptable. After all, if a leader is viewed as weak why would anyone respect them? How can they lead anyone? From where will they draw their authority? In this point of view, strength and power are the defining attributes of a successful leader. These attributes, however, are not the descriptors or concerns of a servant leader. And Jesus made it very clear that vulnerability would be central to His brand of servant leadership. Paul writes in Philippians 2, “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.”[12] Jesus’ very presence on our Earth as a man is an act of servant leadership, intrinsically bound to vulnerability. Going from an omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient Deity to the humble flesh of a human, a flesh that He took part in creating, is trading absolute perfection for the inherent flaws that are inextricably linked to humanity. Vulnerability is the Lord’s way.

Honesty, Transparency and Humility

Defining vulnerability is helpful, but it does not paint the full picture of what it means to be a vulnerable, servant leader. A proper description is extremely useful in filling in the gaps. To best describe how we can be vulnerable as servant leaders, we explore three critical components: honesty, transparency and humility. These attributes truly speak directly to a leader’s character. Honesty isn’t simply a lack of deceit or misinformation, but rather a commitment to understanding the naked truth about ourselves. This attribute is less about the accuracy of information or facts, and more about our capacity to define reality as leaders. Can we be truthful about our strengths and weaknesses, or do we make excuses and overcompensate? This brand of honesty addresses an important leadership epidemic: self-deception. If we are self-deceived, we will be selfish; driven to focus on “oneself and justification”.[13] This is not servant leadership.

Transparency is not about revealing every intimate detail of our lives or posting our every thought on social media. Transparency is fighting against the natural tendency to “protect ourselves from vulnerability, from being hurt, diminished and disappointed.”[14] When we put up emotional walls because we fear being hurt or develop weapons of personality to keep people at arms length, we are hindering our ability to be servant leaders. Transparency is the comfort to live and lead as your genuine self. It is the act of stepping out from behind our binding and often frustrating constructions to be our true selves in full view of others; no hidden agendas, manipulations or personas. To be vulnerable, we must be transparent. When we are transparent, we will inspire the same in others and encourage a culture of vulnerability. If we cannot be ourselves, then we send a powerful message that nobody else can either, robbing your project or organization of the best work a person has to offer as they pretend to be someone they were not created to be.

Humility is not low self-esteem. It is not a lack of confidence or taking pleasure in being trampled upon by stronger personalities. This is what critics of vulnerability and servant leadership would have you believe. In their book Lead Like Jesus, Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges define humility as “a heart attitude that reflects a keen understanding of your limitations to accomplish something on your own.”[15] This is final piece to the vulnerability puzzle. While it is a common temptation for leaders to take on too much and then try to do it ourselves, humility implores us to confidently understand our strengths and embrace our God-given limitations. We typically don’t think of limits as an important part of leadership, but even Jesus Himself “joyfully embraced the limits given him by his Father in heaven” in several instances, including when he was tempted by the devil in the desert.[16] Ultimately, humility is the acceptance of our Creator-endowed identity with limited distortion and the motivation to use of our gifts for the service of others. When we demonstrate humility, we are vulnerable and we can be servant leaders.

What vulnerability is not

The most common misconception about vulnerability, as it relates to leadership and life in general, is that it is synonymous with weakness. For many, this is an important way to discount the very notion of servant leadership. The well-worn image of a doormat is the societal representation of a person who is vulnerable. But vulnerability done properly is actually quite brave. Jesus touches on this tension when sending out His disciples in the book of Matthew. He commands them to be “shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.”[17] Vulnerability is embracing the risk of being wounded, not surrendering for torture. When individuals take that risk they often reward their teams and organizations with excellent outcomes, as they have moved beyond the protection of self-interest and into the realm of collective potential. The misrepresentation of vulnerability as weakness stems from confusing “feeling with failing and emotions with liabilities.”[18] Compromising emotional health for purposes of self-protection is a common occurrence for a leader. And this compromise inevitably creates a culture of self-interest and fear. But, vulnerability is a better way. In fact, vulnerability may actually be safer than self-protection. After decades of academic research about vulnerability, author and Social Worker Brené Brown believes that “one could argue that weakness often stems from a lack of vulnerability- when we don’t acknowledge how and where we’re tender, we’re more at risk of being hurt.”[19]

Four leadership domains: Head, Heart, Hands, Habits

In Lead Like Jesus, Blanchard and Hodges introduce four leadership domains that help guide a person to their leadership philosophy: Head, Heart, Hands and Habits. Within each of these domains is a specific role for vulnerability. The Head refers to a leader’s “beliefs and theories about leading and motivating people.”[20] This framework operates under the principle that how you think about leadership has a significant impact on how you actually lead. This means how you think about vulnerability matters in becoming a servant leader and defining your leadership philosophy. If a leader believes their role revolves around invulnerability and always being right, then this way of thinking will eventually be reflected in the leader’s actions. You cannot become it if you cannot think it.

The Heart is about the motivation for leading. It answers the “why?’ question. Directly out of your drive to lead flows the answer to whether one will be self-serving or a servant. A leader can improve many different facets of their leadership, but if the Heart remains the same there will be no lasting change. Vulnerability starts here simply with the understanding that only God can change people’s hearts. While a leader may be supremely confident and capable, matters of the Heart belong to the Lord. Recognizing that, there is also in vulnerability in surrendering to God to change you from the inside out. Opening your heart to the Lord is leaving yourself open to Divine Intervention, and leading from the vulnerability within is best way to serve.

The Hands are the actions you choose to take in light of your internal beliefs. A leader may be able to fake these actions for a bit, ultimately your heart and your hands are aligned. Your inner life will be revealed by the impact of your actions. Jesus understood that a person cannot reproduce anything but what is on the inside when he declared, “ The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil.”[21] Your Hands can only do what you feel in your Heart and believe in your Head. The Hands domain is where vulnerability can be practiced most directly. If you are not vulnerable and instead treat people as though they are to obey your every command without asking questions, the ability to be vulnerable will be compromised.

Your Habits are “how you renew your daily commitment as a leader to serve rather than to be served.”[22] These are the systems, processes, and procedures that we utilize as leaders. And consistency is critical to maintaining the proper role as a servant leader. Implementing these Habits are an act of vulnerability because a leader must admit their need to create the proper systems to serve a team or organization.

Examples of vulnerability in servant leadership

The role of vulnerability in servant leadership is not just theoretical. We actually have practical examples from Scripture and even in contemporary culture. King David is an excellent example of a vulnerable servant leader, even in spite of his significant failures. Of course, David was not always King. His story as a servant leader started when he was just a ruddy-faced boy. While the giant Philistine Goliath taunted the armies of Israel and their God, all of the soldiers stood by in fear. David, only there to visit his brothers, took exception and accepted Goliath’s challenge, igniting his servant leadership journey. His exact words: “…your servant will go and fight with this Philistine.”[23] By facing Goliath in individual combat, David was risking his own life to save the lives of his people. He accepted the overwhelming responsibility in the face of insurmountable odds. And David did so without King Saul’s armor. It didn’t fit properly, but going into battle without armor is the height of vulnerability. As a boy, David demonstrated vulnerability and servant leadership by risking everything to face the most feared warrior on behalf of God’s people. He wasn’t crazy, he was showing humility; David had placed his faith in God and was confident that The Lord would deliver victory over Goliath. Much like the example of David, our vulnerability is a critical part of our servant leadership. In our lives, we must march into battle on behalf of the Lord and His people, vulnerably risking ourselves in the process.

A modern example is Barry-Wehmiller CEO Bob Chapman, featured in Simon Sinek’s Leaders Eat Last. When Chapman took over a manufacturing company, in lieu of the typical parade of consultants and finance people, “he started by sitting down to hear what employees had to say.”[24] Listening may not seem like a revolutionary act, but for an Executive in the process of taking over a company it is unusual. Chapman’s behavior reflects vulnerability, embracing that he does not have all of the answers. Not only did he listen, he actually implemented many of the suggestions he heard in the interviews. Chapman served his new people with his approach where “empathy would be injected into the company and trust would be the new standard.”[25] Almost immediately, the changes began to pay dividends. Not only did employee satisfaction and engagement increase significantly, revenue has almost doubled. The success is directly related to Chapman’s vulnerability in servant leadership. He believed in his people and they demonstrated that his faith in them was justified. But the impact of Chapman’s leadership went far beyond results and procedures. People that worked there started to truly care for one another. When an employee needed additional time off to take care of his wife who had a medical emergency, his co-workers gladly donated their time off. This is technically against the rules, but stripped of cumbersome HR policies, people began to serve one another. And following the example of their CEO, these people were vulnerable, bringing their entire selves to work.

Myth of the singular, exceptional leader

Despite its demonstrated effectiveness and countless successes, many professionals don’t believe vulnerability is an essential component to servant leadership. Further, they may not believe in servant leadership in the first place. One of the philosophies that challenge servant-leader principles is that of the singular, exceptional leader. In this way of thinking, a leader is elevated and somehow exists above the common folks. In Leading with a Limp, Dan Allender defines this concept as: “a leader has power that sets him above others and gives him the right to make decisions that shape the way an organization will function.”[26] In many ways, we want our leader to be above us. Sometimes, we desire an infallible leader to whom we can look when things get difficult. Part of the reason this myth was constructed and has endured, is that somewhere deep down, we all believe we can become the singular, exceptional leader. That if we were given all power and authority, we could redeem the position and show people where they were failing short. We elevate someone else now, so that in the future we ourselves may be elevated. But, to be an effective servant leader, a higher position or area of authority is unnecessary. And the singular, exceptional “genius” leader is at best rare, if not completely non-existent. When we demystify leadership and concentrate our efforts on being vulnerable and serving, we will get far more accomplished.

The challenge of rigid hierarchy

Another challenge to servant leadership are the rigid hierarchies to which we give our power in our organizations. In a hierarchical system, those below you on the org chart are the only people there to serve. And vulnerability is a liability because making it to the top is about competing with your peers and demonstrating dominance. This structure severely limits the effectiveness of servant leadership. But it is possible to be a vulnerable servant leader in a hierarchical culture. In fact, the actions of a servant will stand in such sharp contrast to business as usual that serving others will actually take on more power. And vulnerability will be precious to the people you work for and alongside. If you do find yourself with some power or authority in a system with a strong hierarchy, it is critical you go out of your way to be vulnerable and serve at every opportunity. Even though the ability to hire and fire someone on your team shifts the power balance, using that power to serve them will be an excellent way to earn trust and create a servant leader culture. Part of the fear of vulnerability for a leader is that you might lose your position, influence or authority if you aren’t in control. But this mindset can be cancerous. Suddenly, everyone is paranoid about maintaining what they have and not serving each other or the organization. In this case, a lack of vulnerability creates a destructive, erosive situation that limits performance. A leader must instead work to build “vulnerability-based trust”[27] within the team. This kind of trust, built over time, turns your team into a group of servant leaders. When this happens, people will “abandon their pride and their fear, to sacrifice their egos for the collective good of the team.”[28]

How would Jesus lead?

When it comes to Jesus, servant leadership is the only way He modeled for us to lead. In the Kingdom of God, there truly is no other kind of leadership we are called to live. And our world is in desperate need of leaders who will serve others, first and foremost. The leadership vacuum is significant and growing daily, with every organizational and moral failure we see on the news and social media. The best opportunity for this generation of servant leaders to make a difference is vulnerability. And in the story of Jesus we learn about the nature of vulnerability and servant leadership. After His horrific death and glorious resurrection, Jesus began to appear to His disciples. However, they didn’t recognize Him immediately. It wasn’t until Jesus showed them His scars that they grasped His identity. The disciples could see the scars on both His hands and His side in living color. This is true vulnerability, displaying wounds for all to see. And in this act, Jesus showed us that wounds are “the authenticating marks of faithful discipleship and true spiritual leadership.”[29]

[1] Max De Pree, Leadership Is An Art (New York: Doubleday Business, 1989), 11

[2] Leo Tolstoy, Pamphlets. Translated from the Russian (Christchurch, Hants: Free Age Press, 1900) [Electronic Reproduction [S.I]: HathiTrust Digital Library, 2010], 71

[3] New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (LaHabra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995), Matthew 19:30

[4] Edelman Berland, 2015 Edelman Trust Barometer (Washington D.C.: Edelman, 2015), 7

[5] ibid

[6] Gallup, State of the American Workplace: Employee Engagement Insights for U.S. Business Leaders (Washington D.C.: Gallup, 2013), 12

[7] ibid

[8] “vulnerable, adj.”. OED Online. September 2015. Oxford University Press. http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/224872

[9] Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, (New York: Gotham, 2012), 2.

[10] Ibid, page 12

[11] J. Oswald Sanders, Spiritual Leadership: Principles of Excellence for Every Believer. Updated ed. (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2007), Loc 848.

[12] Philippians 2:5–7 (NASB)

[13] The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2015), Location 2603.

[14] Brown, 112

[15] Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges, Lead Like Jesus: Lessons from the Greatest Leadership Role Model of All Time (Grand Rapids, MI: Thomas Nelson, 2008), 76

[16] Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Church, Expanded Edition: A Strategy for Discipleship That Actually Changes Lives (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2010), 143–144.

[17] Matthew 10:16 (NASB)

[18] Brown, 35

[19] Brown, 39

[20] Blanchard and Hodges, 45

[21] Luke 6:45 (NASB)

[22] Blanchard and Hodges, 47

[23] 1 Samuel 17:32 (NASB)

[24] Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t (New York: Portfolio, 2014), 10.

[25] Sinek, 11

[26] Dan B. Allender, Leading with a Limp: Take Full Advantage of Your Most Powerful Weakness (Colorado Springs: WaterBrook Press, 2008), 26.

[27] Patrick Lencioni, The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2012), 27.

[28] ibid

[29] Sanders, Loc 2558